My guy friends were complaining to me last week, as much as they love the show Spartacus: Blood & Sand, the number of male derrières (and wangs for that matter) they see in the show are way way more than they ever needed to see in seven lifetimes (or more). Oh dear... should I warn them about what went down in 'Mark of The Brotherhood'? Maybe not... >:D

Just when I thought that with the death of Barca and Pietros we'll see no more of wangs and such (I should've known better!), Batiatus went and purchased a whole new batch of wangs and made them strip down to the bare essentials so that Ilithyia could make a more informed decision on her impending gladiator purchase.

ARGH! MY EYES!

Apparently the new Gaul slave, Segovax, was very well-endowed. So well-endowed that the gambling members of the ludus immediately lay their coins on him. "Everything on the one with the horse cock." says our very own Cupid man, Varro. Gee, I'd say that would make a perfect visual aid for everyone's favorite swear word in Rome: "Jupiter's cock!"

It's really fun watching Batiatus and Lucretia's game of Climbing Up The Social Ladder. The most fun part is seeing Lucretia having to swallow every single shrouded insult rolling off Ilithyia's tongue with a big huge plastic smile plastered on her face. This Ilithyia really is a piece of work, she's definitely a character that you would love to hate! But Lucretia definitely knows how to pull on Ilithyia's strings and make her play to their advantage. Seeing Ilithyia's infatuation to the sordid world of gladiators, Lucretia immediately offers her a chance to own one. Arrogant, spoilt and bratty, Ilithyia jumps on the notion and immediately purchased the Gaul with Jupiter's cock. I can't even imagine anyone could be any more brattier than her, UNTIL WE ALL MET ILITHYIA'S FRIENDS. Wow, it's like watching Gossip Girl: Ancient Rome, and Ilithyia is definitely the Ancient Roman embodiment of Blair Waldorf. No doubt.

And just like Blair Waldorf, Ilithyia holds grudges, is incredibly cunning, and she will pretty much go through great lengths to get what she wants. But I must say that her loyalty to her husband is quite something. She breathes the same hatred her husband bore against Spartacus, even though it never really had anything to do with her. Such must be what you call unconditional love, eh? She then employs the aid of Segovax, a.k.a. Domina Ilithyia's new recruit, to do her deed of slaying Spartacus by dangling the promise of freedom.

Well, needless to say, his attempts were botched by someone we least expected: Crixus. And Jupiter's Cock was punished by... decapitation. Seriously, I cringed when they hauled Segovax up like he was crucified, blood dripping from between his legs... ARGH! HOLY CRAP. THAT. LOOKED. PAINFUL. I wasn't even sure that they really chopped his member off until Lucretia said that he won't state his reasons even as he was parted from his cock. OH. MY. GOD. At that very moment I couldn't help but wonder what could be going through every dude's mind as they watch this scene?! Yikes! Oh well. RIP Jupiter's Cock. You shall not be missed. (At least not by me!)

Back to Crixus. As much as I love that Spartacus is embracing his state of gladiator-ness, I kinda wanna smack his head and kick his butt a little for his arrogance over Crixus. DUDE, you did not earn the title "Champion of Capua", "Bringer of Rain" single-handedly! You probably would've been dead if Crixus wasn't there to distract Monster!Fabio. So please, give the man a little respect! I say Crixus has every single right to be royally pissed at Spartacus.

But I love how the writers manage to dance around this cats and dogs brotherhood between Spartacus and Crixus so well. Give them a breakthrough in their brotherhood "development" in one episode, then rip them apart in the next, and then bring them one step closer again in the next, only to wedge another thorn between them next, and then pull them back together again within the same episode! I love that they made Crixus struggle through his return to the training grounds (and Spartacus doesn't make it any easier, I swear!), and hang the threat of being traded away on top of his head. Lo and behold, Crixus actually saved himself from being traded away by... saving Spartacus.

"I did not save Spartacus.
I saved a brother, who bears the mark."

I think this is something that Spartacus still yet has to learn. Sure, he has accepted his fate as a gladiator, and is obedient to his Dominus and his Dominus alone, but he hasn't embraced being in the brotherhood of gladiators yet. You can see it in the unveiling of the new recruits scene, where Batiatus introduced his ludus as the "purveyor of the finest gladiators in the Republic" which was received with an enthusiastic roar from all his gladiators below, all except Spartacus, who just stood there, looking indifferent. It shows that he shares no brotherhood bond with his fellow gladiators... yet.

Hopefully he'll learn it soon, because I think it's crucial to his impending revolution. Yes, Spartacus, Current Champion of Capua, please go and learn from the Former Champion of Capua this one valuable lesson: BROS BEFORE HOS, BEFORE COUNTRYMEN, ...BEFORE EVERYTHING!