Image credit: Walt Disney Pictures

Last week, a friend and I scored tickets to watch Alice in Wonderland this coming Saturday afternoon with a local celebrity. Few days ago, we decided to watch it first (even though we're going to see it on Saturday) fearing that we might not be able to focus on the movie on Saturday. Here's one thing we didn't see coming: WE DIDN'T WANNA SEE IT TWICE. Now, I'm a person who watches movies repetitively. Dude, I watched The Dark Knight eight frakking times in the cinema. I am THE serial multiple-watching moviegoer, but Alice in Wonderland is just not something I wanna see more than once.

The only reason why this is under a page cut is simply because it runs too long on the main page. Trust me, there is NOTHING TO SPOIL. It's pretty much like the 1951 Alice in Wonderland Disney animated cartoon, except that this is done with real people, with today's groundbreaking CGI technology, and is available in 3D. But in all seriousness, WE'VE ALL BEEN HERE BEFORE. Well, I guess there are several variations but they really aren't gonna extract any oohs or aahs out of you. It felt like it stole some elements off Narnia and Wizard of Oz. Frankly, I didn't even like Alice in Wonderland as a child. I had hoped that Tim Burton had revamped it into something else more than just a visual reinterpretation. But that seems to be all that is, a visual reinterpretation.

All things aside, I really would like to crack open Tim Burton's skull and see what kind of brain is in there that could reproduce such fascinating imagery for the world of Wonderland. The best part of this movie perhaps came in the bobblehead-like Red Queen. And Helena Bonham Carter is the perfect choice, one who could combine both comical and creepy elements all into that one gigantic head.

Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter indeed makes no sense both in his conducts, as well as his role in the big picture. I didn't feel his role. It was as if he was dropped into Wonderland just to add some color and gibberish lines.

I didn't really connect much with Alice. I connected more with her gorgeous tresses and dresses (until she turned into Joan of Arc). But the character? No, not really. I'm not sure if it was the girl, or how the character was written. And it wasn't believable enough for me that one Jabberwocky-slaying trip to Underland (so the residents call it) could change her so drastically from a girl who's hand was about to be bought in marriage into a... business trader? It was too much of a straight line. Everything about the movie was too much of a straight line, actually. The only unexpected thing about Alice in Wonderland is: there are no unexpected things.

Another friend asked me if she should watch it in 3D. My initial off-the-top-of-my-head response was an immediate "YES, GO WATCH IT IN 3D." I'm thinking if it were already dull in 3D, imagine how much duller it would be in 2D? But now that I think about it, the 3D wasn't much of a 3D either apart from backgrounds. Perhaps this is what James Cameron is referring to in his MTV interview where he says Hollywood is getting 3D wrong. The Father of 3D says that if you're gonna make something in 3D, shoot it in 3D, have it all rooted organically in 3D, not turn it into a 3D version in 8 weeks. This felt like it was the perfect example of what James Cameron was talking about. So... on second thought, save your money and just watch it in 2D.

Let's just put it this way: the only thing I truly enjoyed about it was the Clash of the Titans trailer before the movie rolled. This is my first disappointment on a highly-anticipated movie of 2010. Sad, really.